Man?s idea of art involves testing doormat

British performance artist Ian Thorley, working on grants from several local councils, did a week’s stint on an Ashington street in October, stepping onto and off of a doormat while wearing a badge identifying him as a government doormat tester.

Government in Action

Bright Ideas: The City Council of Greenleaf, Idaho, passed an ordinance in November to require nearly all residents to keep a gun at home in case the town becomes overrun by people relocating after Gulf Coast storms.

? Super-protective: In October, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services sought to extend its abstinence education program (which currently gives grants to states for programs for teenagers), to start reaching unmarried people up to age 29.

? A New York City housing program begun in the 1970s to encourage new construction has enabled huge reductions in property taxes on certain buildings in Manhattan, and those savings continue to this day (and at least through next year and maybe beyond). Among the beneficiaries: Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter, who saves $130,000 a year on his $4 million Trump World Tower apartment; designer Calvin Klein ($134,000 savings on his penthouse); and actress Natalie Portman (saving $26,300 a year on her $5.8 million condo) according to an October New York Post report.

Police Squad

At the county jail in Dubuque, Iowa, in November, Michael Kelley Jr., 29 and accused of attempted murder, was swapping stories with inmate Jamie Brimeyer, 34, when he asked about Brimeyer’s facial scar. As Brimeyer described being stabbed in the cheek by an unknown assailant in 2005, Kelley realized that he was the one who had stabbed him and recalled the incident so well that he corrected some of Brimeyer’s recollections. Brimeyer later reported Kelley, who is now also charged with assault with a dangerous weapon.

? From The Star Press, Muncie, Ind., Nov. 4 “A man reported the burglary around 10 p.m. Thursday after he returned from the hospital and found his 36-inch Samsung TV missing. It had been replaced with an RCA TV that was missing a power cord. … Decorative items were placed around the new TV, apparently in an attempt to fool him.”

Election Roundup

Libertarian Steve Osborn finished second in the U.S. Senate race in Indiana to incumbent Richard Lugar, more than 1 million votes behind, but two weeks later asked for a recount in 10 precincts.

And in Lysowice, Poland (with November voting, also), an elections official became so distraught at irregularities at her polling station that she grabbed a box of ballots and locked herself in a restroom until police convinced her to come out.

Least Competent Criminals

Amateurs: A teenager, 17, was booked into a juvenile detention center in Lynnwood, Wash., in October after he got his arm stuck in the dog door of a house he was allegedly attempting to burglarize. Experienced burglars avoid houses with dog doors because that usually means that a dog is present.

And in Sheboygan, Wis., in November, police arrested Leah Jerolimek, 21, and charged her with trying to pass a counterfeit $20 bill at a gas station, even though the bill (made with a computer and printer) was blank on the back.

Death by Snake

A 48-year-old woman died from a timber rattlesnake bite during services at East London Holiness Church in London, Ky., in November. The church features a monthly snake-handling service, during which people can prove they are true believers by not getting bitten.