i Teen-Adusive relationships
An abusive relationship usually begins in oblivion. At first everything will seem OK with a girlfriend or boyfriend who is excessively protective, and constantly quizzical. You feel their watching over you is a symbol of love, when in fact love is built on trust.
You may begin spending less time with family and friends to satisfy your girlfriend or boyfriend. You may stop doing things you normally would do, and you may become secretive and moody. Abuse can sometimes be mistaken for intense feelings of caring or concern.
Unfortunately, the reason people get stuck in an abusive relationship is because they have been living in denial or they cannot identify the problems with the monster of a relationship. In fact, 1-in-11 high school students say they have been physically hurt by a date.
Abuse comes in three forms: physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Physical abuse consists of slapping, hitting, and kicking. Emotional abuse can vary but in general consists of teasing, bullying, and even embarrassing the other person. Sexual abuse is being forced to have intercourse. This abuse is both a problem for boys and girls.
To put an end to an abusive relationship, you have to acknowledge the fact you deserve the right to be respected, and you should not be violated in any form. You have to be a very strong person to put an end to a personal injustice, but it is necessary and very reasonable for you to make the decision to control your own life, and enjoy it. A healthy relationship consists of individual growth for both people in the relationship. Here are some ways to pinpoint whether you are involved in an abusive relationship:
‘ Do they try to control everything you do?
‘ Do they warn you to listen to them or there will be consequences for you or them?
‘ Do they make you feel guilt for being an individual?
‘ Do they need you to check in with them before doing things?
‘ Do they insist you spend time with them and only them?
‘ Do they strategically say things like ‘If you loved me ‘?
If you are involved in an abusive relationship you need to seek professional help. You can find the sources you need in your phone book, through help lines, or hotlines. It is recommended you find a trusted adult such as a parent, counselor, teacher, or mentor to talk to.
If you are the person who is being asked for support, keep in mind that a person in an abusive relationship needs love, your time, and understanding. A healthy relationship maintains respect, trust, cooperation, fairness, communication, but most importantly individual growth. Be sure not to isolate yourself, but rather to seek help.
Available resources:
‘ Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
‘ National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
‘ National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
‘ Relationship Abuse Hotline at 1-800-621-HOPE (4673).
Calls are free, confidential, and counselors are available.