Shopping: Everyone?s favorite sport

Like most of you, I?ve had the opportunity over recent weeks to participate in a ritual that ? to be honest ? isn?t one of my favorites.

But since it?s that time of year, and folks around me insist on continuing to participate in the ritual, I have found myself actively engaging in Christmas shopping on more than one occasion lately.

And while I don?t want to appear overtly chauvinistic, I?d still be remiss if I didn?t note how my shopping strategy changed this year.

Normally, ?shopping? to me consists of figuring out what I?m going to buy, going to the store that sells that item, and buying it. But this season, I?ve found myself with a different gameplan: Going to malls ? both local and out-of-town, walking from store to store and seeing if they have anything someone on my list would like.

With the ritual now mercifully completed, I?ve come to the realization that Christmas shopping is not drastically different than an athletic event. More specifically, the event has many similarities to your average football game.

You say you want examples? Well you know I?ve got plenty.

? Before you begin to hit the mall, or the gridiron, you?d better come up with a strategy.

For football season, that can involve scheduling your practices so all aspects of the game are covered, and drawing up a gameplan for the upcoming contest. In the shopping arena, it?s a matter of making your list, so you can avoid the aforementioned store-to-store wandering.

? Scouting your opponent is a must in football. And when you hit the stores for Christmas shopping, you?ve got to scout the people on your list, as well.

Does Granny need a new blouse? If so, you?re wasting your time at the sporting goods store. Does your brother need shoes? Well, before you even take the field, you need to know what kind, what color, who sells them ? and how much you?re going to spend.

And we haven?t even gotten to the problem presented by the youngsters. Before you can shop for their gift, you have to scout their toy chests, their letters to Santa, and consult their front office to see what St. Nick is going to be dropping down the chimney.

? Covering plenty of ground at the mall is just as important as spreading the field on the gridiron. So teamwork is a must. If Champs Sports is upstairs on the east end of the mall, and Dillard?s is on the lower level in the west, you might have to split up into single coverage. On the other hand, if there?s a ?buy-one-get-one-free? sale at Bath & Body, a double-team may be in order.

? A good football game begins with a good pregame show, where fans can learn what to expect during the big event. At Christmas, you need to do your own pregame analysis, to find out who gets gifts, and who you can expect something from in return.

And, just like a quality football broadcast, any good gift purchase finishes with a wrap-up.

? But there?s one important facet of football that I?ve become convinced I?ll bring to the shopping world by next Christmas: Blocking.

If I?m going to have to fight these kinds of crowds next year, I?m bringing along a fullback to knock some of these crazed shoppers out of the way.