Even elephants can’t forget to exercise

By James Clark

Since Cupcake and I have been casually looking at houses with the idea we might someday move to town, I don’t have any trouble believing a story coming from Aspen, Colorado. It’s a story about sky high real estate prices, and anybody who has looked at homes in McMinnville lately knows what I’m talking about.

I’ve walked through a number of regular homes that have your usual three bedrooms and two baths. I’ve even looked at houses, and get ready to be surprised, that have four bedrooms.

I’d expect these average, everyday houses to be listed for $80,000, $90,000, or maybe even $100,000. But not in McMinnville. The magic number in this town is $169,000. Just about any house you look at in McMinnville — that’s not falling down — is listed for $169,000. Don’t ask me why.

But here’s the funny part. In Aspen, the real estate prices are so high, the Aspen Board of Realtors can’t even afford to have an office there. The board was renting an office in Aspen until outrageous payments pushed them out of town. Now the Aspen Board of Realtors is actually located 10 miles down the road in the town of Basalt.

Brynne Kristan, who is executive vice president of the board, said it’s simply too expensive to have a business in Aspen. I think the saying that applies to this situation is: “What comes around, goes around.”

As for my next piece of offbeat news, it comes from Anchorage, Alaska. And it relates to the importance of regular exercise.

By now, most of us know if you don’t eat right and exercise regularly, it’s difficult to stay trim around the middle. Even the zookeepers at the Anchorage zoo realize this fact.

That’s why they have recently installed what is believed to be the world’s first-ever elephant treadmill. The 20-foot, 16,000-pound treadmill was designed for the zoo’s lone elephant, Maggie, who is not getting any thinner at age 23.

Personally, I think the giant treadmill was a way too expensive project. A television and a Richard Simmons video would have been far cheaper.

Maggie had more than a little weight problem after she ballooned up to around 9,000 pounds. Zookeepers were concerned because they wanted her closer to 8,000 pounds.

For anyone who has ever struggled to lose five or 10 pounds, just think of Maggie’s plight. Even if she followed Jarod’s Subway diet, Maggie would have to eat dry subs for like 15 years to drop 1,000 pounds.

Maggie is now one year into her weight loss program and making gradual gains. Maybe if Maggie gets in really good shape she can be the first elephant to enter the Fourth of July Fun Run. This may be a silly question, but can elephants jog?

If you have business news, don’t hesitate to give me a call. I’m generally friendly and always eager to find out what’s going on around town. The phone number is 473-2191.