Will 2004 bring trouble for Bert?
Now that 2003 is history and I take a glimpse back in the rearview mirror, what an off-the-wall year it was.
The Dixie Chicks were pounded for exercising their right to free speech, a Hollywood mega star who made his fame by blowing up cyborgs was elected governor of California, and radio talk show blowhard Rush Limbaugh was investigated for illegally purchasing prescription painkillers.
But that’s enough about the past. Anyone who has picked up a newspaper in the last year knows all about that. What we’re all curious to discover is the future so I’m going to help us along our merry way.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to dig through the closet after a two-year break and dust off my trusty crystal ball. Anyone who remembers some of my previous columns also knows my predictions have an uncanny knack for being correct.
Don’t ask me how I do it because I often wonder myself. So buckle your seatbelts and let’s get ready for a ride ? into the future.
• I see great trouble ahead for Bert, the muppet known for his many adventures with Ernie. I think 2004 might even see sexual harassment charges leveled against the yellow man with one long eyebrow. (Hey, if Madonna and Brittney Spears are going to kiss, anything can happen.)
I even see Bert confronting his accusers on some trashy talk show, let’s say “The Jerry Springer Show.” Bert will insist on his innocence, but it won’t do any good. It doesn’t help matters Bert wears the same shirt everyday, further bolstering the claim he’s a little on the weird side.
• I see more whining ahead for the University of Tennessee athletic program. Of course it doesn’t take Nostradamus to make this prediction.
After the men’s basketball team got snubbed from last year’s NCAA Tournament, all we heard about was the “injustice of it all.” Then the Vols lose in the first round of the NIT Tournament.
After the Vol football team was “snubbed” for a BCS berth and had to settle for a matchup against Clemson in the Peach Bowl, all we heard about was the “cruelty of it all.” Then Tennessee gets blasted by a Clemson team that wasn’t even ranked.
For the 2004 football season, I predict the Vols will play for the national championship. And if they don’t, it will be because of the referees, the moisture of the grass, the coin toss, the saturated fat in the pre-game meal, the rotation of the Earth ?
• The way meth is spreading to all corners of the county, I predict a meth lab will be found inside Warren County Jail.
• The crystal ball assures me Warren County’s high school football team will score at least four touchdowns this year.
• In an effort to generate extra revenue, I predict local police will seek sponsors for the reading of the Miranda Rights. “You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. You have the right to shop at Kroger where you’ll find great savings every day.”
China Wok debuts new buffet Monday
If there are two things Warren County residents are known for its 1) for growing nursery stock, and 2) for trampling people in order to get another plate at the buffet table.
The folks at China Wok realize this fact and it’s with that in mind they are for the first time in their history offering a lunch-time buffet at their brand new location. For anyone who hasn’t been in China Wok lately, there’s much to see.
As we know, Lowe’s demolished their old store in Cumberland Plaza and they have been in their new, much larger location, also at Cumberland Plaza, since Oct. 28. For the most part, business has been pretty slow, but employee Jin J. Zheng says that is beginning to change.
“Since the parking lot has been paved this last week business has really picked up,” said Jin. “We just got our dining room finished Thursday so we’re ready to go with this buffet.”
The dining room seats 48 so there will be plenty of room to feast away at the 22-item buffet which also includes soup and dessert. Jin says all the traditional China Wok favorites such as sesame chicken, lo mein rice, pepper steak and sweet and sour chicken will be offered on the buffet.
And here’s the real headline news. The China Wok buffet, offered from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., will cost a mere $4.25. When I asked Jin if that price was going to be enough for him to make money, he said passing on a great value is what China Wok does best. Jin said all of China Wok’s regular lunch specials are under $4, and the restaurant gives such heaping portions there aren’t many people this side of Phil Fulmer who can eat that much food anyway. By charging $4.25 for the buffet, he will actually be earning at least 25 cents more per lunch.
Another update on Lowe’s
I know I’ve hammered away at Lowe’s lately, but here’s another quick blurb. The company has set up a hiring office next to Holland’s Jewelry at Cumberland Plaza. Lowe’s will be accepting applications there for the next two or three weeks to hire 115 employees.
When I stopped by the office Friday afternoon, it was bustling with activity. Lowe’s officials are going to sift through the applications they’ve already received and begin interviewing those people this Monday. Interviews will be continued for weeks and weeks.
Lowe’s hopes to put its first batch of employees to work Jan. 28 because there are many stock shelves to be built and then those shelves need to be stocked. Lowe’s has tentatively scheduled its opening for the middle to the end of March.
But the main thing I learned from Lowe’s new hiring office is this: It’s amazing how much information you can gain in about three minutes from someone on site here in McMinnville. I’ve been trying for months to get such basic information from home office people and all I’ve received is the runaround.
McKinley elected chiropractic president
Local chiropractor Dr. Jeff McKinley was recently elected president of the Tennessee Chiropractic Association and he began serving his term with the start of the new year.
A graduate of Logan Chiropractic College, McKinley has taken post-doctoral studies in sports injuries and is a certified chiropractic sports physician.
“Dr. McKinley’s passion for his patients and his leadership skills make him an excellent choice for president of our association,” said organization CEO Lamont Carter. “Our organization will benefit greatly from his professional experience and his demonstrated commitment to his community.”
Sonic rebounds from fire to re-open its drive-in
It will take more than a little fire to shut down Sonic for long. The popular drive-in restaurant re-opened Tuesday to resounding cheers after being closed for 18 days. If you recall, since Sonic was closed anyway because of the fire, restaurant managers decided to have some remodeling work done in December that was originally scheduled for January or February.
“We hate it our customers couldn’t do their Christmas shopping and then eat with us too,” said Sonic manager Bill Inzer. “But we decided not to inconvenience our customers by closing twice.”
That’s all folks
I predict I will receive an abundance of Business Pulse tips over the next week so don’t make my trusty crystal ball look bad. The number to call is 473-2191.