Robservations: Slow play no fun for anyone
If you’re a regular reader, you’ve probably been eagerly awaiting this annual “Robservation.”
(Of course, there can’t be that many of you “regular readers” out there, judging by the amount of votes I received in this year’s “Best of the Best” local columnist race… but that’s another matter for another time.)
Anyway, it’s time — once again — for my annual advice column for those of you who will don your two-tone leather shoes, grab your dusty, rusty irons, and hit the area links this spring and summer.
Before we go any further, let me get the confession portion of this whole tirade out of the way.
I’m not a good golfer. But, regardless of how poorly I might play, I can still get around the course in a reasonable amount of time. In fact, I pride myself on telling my more skilled playing partners, “I can hit that thing 105 times as fast as you can hit it 85 — and I spend at least 15 minutes a round looking for lost balls.”
Play well, or play poorly — whichever you want. But keep in mind you’re out there to have a good time, unless you’re playing for a big pile of cash. So take these tips to heart the next time you’re out on the course, and maybe that group of hackers playing behind you can have a good time, as well.
• Extra balls: Some players, especially if they’re by themselves for a practice round, will play two different balls per hole, giving themselves double the opportunity to work on their game.
Now, your average course ranger will frown on this — in a big way. So pick that thing up if you see a cart coming with no clubs on the back. But I’m not going to outlaw this practice outright.
If you’re out on a day like Thursday, when the weather is awful and no one in there right mind is playing, go ahead and tee up two shots. Get your practice in while you can. But on a weekend, when you know people are waiting to play behind you, play the ball you paid to play, and get moving.
• Mulligans: I’m as guilty as the next guy of getting nervous on the No. 1 tee and duck-hooking one out-of-bounds. And, on many an occasion, I’ve asked my buddies for a free do-over. Most of the time, they give it — and I do the same for them.
But let’s keep it sensible. Don’t keep dropping a ball for that 105-yard flop shot that just won’t stick on the green. And when you miss that 15-foot putt, don’t tap in, then walk back to your original spot claiming “I know for a fact I can make that.”
• Plumb-bobbing: There are no pros playing any of the courses around here. There are no million-dollar purses on the line.
So if you’ve got a one-footer for your par, and your partners say it’s OK, pick that thing up. Count your stroke, and get off the green.
• Scorecard calculations: This one kills me. You’re waiting to hit your approach, and you’ve been very patient while the group on the green putts in and replaces the flag.
But just when you address the ball, you look downcourse and see them still in the cart, adding up everybody’s score.
Move on! Get to the next tee before you start figuring up how many penalty strokes Billy Bob had, or which stroke went into the hayfield. Not only are you holding up play, but you’re in serious danger of having your calculations interrupted by a high-speed incoming Titleist.
As the weather warms, and yours truly gets his chances to hack up our area courses, I may just get ticked-off enough to come back to you with some more helpful hints.
But until then, hit ’em straight, hit ’em long, and keep it moving out there!