FIC puppets frown on bully tactics
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Families in Crisis, the domestic violence shelter available to help end violence in the home, serves Warren, Grundy and Sequatchie counties. The crisis line is open 24 hours a day and is always confidential. The staff gives community presentations to bring awareness to the community and help end the cycle of violence.
Since many clients and their children come into the shelter with little but the clothes on their backs, FIC provides everything for clients from clothing and hygiene products to toys and school supplies for their children, free of charge.
“We greatly appreciate all the individuals, businesses and churches in the community that help by donating resources, their time and especially monetary donations,” said Ashley Hobbs, children’s advocate.
Unfortunately, children do suffer tremendously from domestic violence. Many batterers assault the adult victim in front of the children. Research reveals children who witness domestic violence are affected in the same way as children who are physically and sexually abused. Men who have witnessed their parents’ domestic violence are three times more likely to abuse their own wives than children of non-violent parents, with sons of the most violent parents being a thousand times more likely to become batterers. Child abuse is also 15 times more likely to occur in families where domestic violence is present. Statistics from 2001-02 show 209 of local recorded batterers have reported witnessing abuse as a child.
Children can emotionally be affected by witnessing abuse in the home. They may feel guilty about not being able to stop the abuse and be depressed, feeling helpless and powerless. They may be affected cognitively such as believing that it is acceptable to hit people they care for to get what they want, to express their anger, to feel powerful or to get others to meet their needs. FIC tries to help with this problem by counseling children and doing presentations for schools on topics like conflict resolution, feelings and domestic violence.
Those at FIC are always busy counseling, providing shelter and doing orders of protection for clients. In the last three months, FIC spent over 1,068 hours for counseling clients alone. This includes crisis line calls, information calls, adult and child counseling and adult and child support groups that FIC provides. Last year FIC had 2,999 clients and used 4,741 hours of counseling time. Out of all the sheltered clients, only eight of the recorded clients returned to the batterer. Also, the holiday season can bring extra work for the shelter.
To help people sort through problems that can occur during the holidays and throughout the year, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence offers these tips:
• Use negotiations and fairness. Seek mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict; be willing to compromise.
•Use non-threatening behavior. Think before you say something.
• Share responsibilities. With the holidays come added responsibilities.
• Remember your economic partnership. Make your money decisions together as you plan your shopping so everyone can benefit.
• Trust and support your loved ones. As your friends and relatives converge, they may bring with them conflicting thoughts and ideologies.
• Communicate openly and truthfully. Accept responsibility for self-acknowledging past use of disrespect and/or violence, admitting being wrong.
• Respect your friends and family and yourself. Listen non-judgmentally. Be emotionally reaffirming. Understand and value others’ opinion.
Other tips to make your home violence-free: Model a nonviolent, respectful nonjudgmental response to resolving conflicts in your family. Talk to your religious leaders, and ask them to address violence in a sermon. And donate your time, money or supplies to your local domestic violence program/shelter.
You may contact Families in Crisis at 931-473-6543.
The hotline number is 931-473-6221 or 1-800-675-0766 or send correspondence to P.O. Box 621 McMinnville, Tenn. 37111.