Seinfeld won’t be as funny without George
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From the episodes I’ve seen of his wildly popular “Seinfeld” sitcom, the brief stand-up comedy segments at the beginning of each show seldom bring a laugh. It’s when George, Elaine and Kramer enter the mix the show gets funny.
George was always my favorite character with his constant inability to hold a job. Of course now that’s carried over for him in real life as his own sitcom was a flop and he’s been reduced to doing those annoying KFC commercials.
But on “Seinfeld” George’s employment struggles really were funny. We find out he was fired from his teen-age job at Dairy Queen because he put his feet in the ice maker.
George was fired from his job as a manuscript reader because he didn’t realize having sex with the cleaning lady was “frowned upon.” He was hired as a hand specialty model and actually modeled one wristwatch. But that job fell through when he burned his hands on a hot iron.
George got one job at a sporting goods store by pretending to be handicapped and left another at a real estate agency because his boss wouldn’t share his private bathroom. He lost his job as a parking attendant because he disrupted the filming of a Woody Allen movie, and, my personal favorite, is when he pretended to have a sales rep job he was never hired for in the first place. He got away with this because the boss was out of town for a week and no one knew he wasn’t hired. This is when he reorganized the famous Penske file.
We know Jerry used to be an umbrella salesman before the show and can never quite figure out how Kramer gets any money. He modeled underwear in one episode and wrote a coffee table book in another. I don’t think he ever got paid for his job as the voice on the movie hotline.
I also got a kick out of Jerry and his never-ending supply of good-looking girlfriends. But their relationships would never last more than one episode and they would always break up for the most peculiar reasons:
• Jerry wouldn’t use her toothbrush (because he dropped it in the commode).
• Jerry accused her of kissing his cousin.
• She wouldn’t taste Jerry’s apple pie.
• She kept wearing the same black and white dress on every date.
• She had what Jerry called “man hands.”
• Newman had previously dumped her.
• Her belly button talked
• Her laugh “sounded like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer.”
As you can tell, I’m no slouch when it comes to “Seinfeld” episodes. But there are some folks who know “Seinfeld” trivia you wouldn’t believe.
Do you know Elaine lived in apartment 2-G. Jerry’s cell phone number is 555-8383. And the message on George’s answering machine is sung to the theme song from “The Greatest American Hero”
For anyone interested in seeing Seinfeld perform, he will be at TPAC Friday, June 28 and Saturday June 29. You can buy tickets by calling 615-782-4095.
The Pool Shop has more stuff
It was five years ago when Amy Reynolds opened The Pool Shop. And now after expanding her merchandise to more than pool supplies, she has changed the name to The Pool Shop Plus.
“We started this little business and it has just taken off,” said Amy. “Our specialty is we know how to take care of pools and how to get sparkling, clear water. It’s really great when people call back and say, ‘It worked. My pool cleared up.'”
Since Amy has gotten the pool part downpat, she’s decided to offer some new items. That’s why the “plus” has been added at the end of her business name.
The Pool Shop Plus now offers self-contained waterfalls, landscape boulders, gourmet pasta salad, ice cream toppings, preserves, gift baskets, children’s toys, jewelry and oil lamps. In short, Amy now has a little of everything in stock. But her specialty will always remain pool supplies.
“Last year we tested about 12 to 14 water samples a day,” said Amy. “This year, it’s almost doubled. We’re testing around 25.”
Amy said the start-up costs for a new pool might seem a bit high, but she’s convinced, over the long haul, a backyard pool is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment around.
“We all seem to like the water,” she said.
New store coming to Three Star Mall
Everybody has been asking what’s going to take the place of Kmart. It’s a question mall officials say they hear all day long.
While the answer to that question has yet to be determined, there is a new store which will move into the mall area later this month. Sally’s Beauty Supply is scheduled to start stocking its new store June 17 and plans are to have the place open by the end of June.
Sally’s will be located between JCPenney and Dollar Tree in the store formerly occupied by Satellite 2000. Most people better know the store as the former location of Mr. Gatti’s.
From what I understand, Sally Beauty Supply will sell everything to do with hair care. This will include colors, sprays and perms. What makes Sally’s somewhat unique is it will be a wholesale/ retail outlet. Local hair salons will be able to buy products from Sally’s in bulk, but the store will also be open to the public.
A.O. Smith is still hiring
Giving the local job market a slight boost is the fact A.O. Smith is currently hiring. The company has in fact been hiring for several months and filled about 20 positions, according to Joan Banks. She says A.O. Smith is still looking to hire five or six more employees and for anyone interested to contact Holland Employment.
“When the economy is up, we’re up and it seems to be doing a little better,” said Joan.
Five or six jobs might not seem monumental, but every little bit helps.
Elite Kennels does a fine job
I often wonder about businesses I promote in Business Pulse and how good a job they actually do. Those thoughts were put to rest recently when I took my dog to Elite Kennels to get a summer haircut.
Some of you may recall I said a few words about Phyllis Turner and her staff at Elite Kennels a few months ago. She had just completed a pet styling seminar in Atlanta, Ga., so I figured she must know her stuff when it comes to cutting dog hair. I was right.
When I took my shaggy, four-legged friend to Phyllis for a trim, he came back looking like he was ready to enter a dog show. Phyllis got rid of all that thick hair which will make his summer more enjoyable.
Remember, this early June heat is just a small sign of what’s to come. If you want to get your dog a cool, summer cut, call Phyllis at 815-3409.
That’s all folks
I realize the summer weather has us all thinking about things other than work. But this column must go on – even in the summer. So if you’ve got business news, give me a call at 473-2191 or send me an e-mail at [email protected].