Caregiving from afar

Dear Savvy Senior,

How can I help take care of my 80-year-old parents that I live 600 miles from? I?ve tried to get them to move closer to me but they are determined to stay in their own house. Any suggestions?

Miles Apart

Dear Miles,

There are more than 7 million long-distance caregivers in the United States today, those who care for an aging family member who lives at least an hour away. Here are some tips and resources that may help you.

Get Informed

Before a crisis arises, get your parent?s financial, medical and legal information like their Social Security numbers, bank accounts, health insurance plans, medications they?re taking, names and numbers of doctors, hospitals, and clinics involved in their care, wills and advance directives, all of which might be needed in an emergency. To help you organize this information, download a free checklist at www.aarp.org/families (click on ?locate valuable documents?).

Know Their Needs

To help your parents remain independent and safe you need to get a handle on their situation. For example (on your next trip home), be sure they are eating regularly, paying their bills on time and keeping up with their medications, or have you noticed a change in their memory, personal hygiene or an unusually messy house. Some other assessments to help you know their needs include:

? Medical examination: A thorough medical evaluation can help determine your parent?s physical and mental needs (go with them if you can).

? Check their driving: Get a free worksheet called ?Warning Signs for Older Drivers? at www.thehartford.com/talkwitholderdrivers.

? Inspect the house: Get a free home safety checklist for seniors at www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/pubs/701.html or call 800-638-2772.

Helpful Tips

Depending on your parent?s needs and willingness to relinquish control, here are several tips that can help them and you:

? Care helpers: Put together a list of people who can check in on your parents regularly, such as nearby family or friends, neighbors, clergy, mail carrier, gardener, etc. Be sure they have your contact information so they can contact you if they detect anything unusual.

? Local resources: Most communities offer a range of free or subsidized services that provide seniors with basic needs such as home delivered meals, transportation, senior companion services and more. To find out what?s available call the Area Agency on Aging in you parents community. To get the local number, call 800-677-1116.

? Money management: You can ease their financial chores by arranging for direct deposit of their Social Security and other pension checks, and set up automatic payments for routine bills like utilities. Also, consider asking your parents to give you power of attorney to handle her financial matters, if needed. If they?re reluctant, another option to consider is to hire a professional daily money manager who can come in once or twice a month to help them pay bills, decipher health insurance statements and balance their checkbook. Costs range between $25 and $100 per hour. To learn more visit www.aadmm.com or call 814-238-2401.

? Emergency response: If you?re parent lives alone, consider a personal emergency response system, which is a small transmitter button carried or worn by your parent that allows them to call for help 24 hours a day. This service costs around $200 for the device and $15 to $30 per month. See www.seniorcitizens.com/k/eprs.html.

? Professional help: If your parents need ongoing help, hire a home-care provider that can help with basic homemaking chores, personal care or medical problems. Costs vary around $40 per hour and up. To find a home-care agency, contact your parent?s doctor or social worker at the local hospital. Another option is to hire a geriatric care manager – someone who can assess your parent?s needs, hire home-care services and monitor their care. This service costs around $300 for the initial consultation and $75 to $150 an hour thereafter. To locate a professional visit www.caremanager.org or call 520-881-8008. Medicare does not cover either of these services but they may be covered if your parents have long-term care insurance or qualify for Medicaid.

? Government assistance: Look into government programs (www.benefitscheckup.org) that may help your parents pay for drugs, health care, utilities and other expenses.

Savvy Tip: The National Institute on Aging offers a free new booklet ?So Far Away: Questions for Long Distance Caregivers? that you can order at www.nia.nih.gov or call 800-222-2225.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit www.savvysenior.org. Jim Miller is a regular contributor to the NBC Today Show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.