Rain, rain: please just go away

(Try and enjoy these random Robservations while wringing the rainwater out of everything you own.)

I am not a farmer.

I’m a reporter, an editor, a photographer, a page designer, a son, a brother, an uncle, a fianc??, a part-time mud race organizer, a frontman for a great little three-man band, and a responsible dog owner.

But I am not a farmer. Therefore, I do not like the rain.

I know the drought last year was devastating to crops, causing lower yields and higher prices. I know for much of America, and a huge part of Warren County, having regular amounts of rainfall is vital to economic success.

So don’t bother with angry phone calls about how much we need rainfall. And don’t come storming into the office looking for me like I was the guy who wrote that column about Hispanics last week. I understand, rain is good.

But I still can’t stand it. Because when it rains, they call off games, and we here at your friendly neighborhood sports department don’t have anything to do.

That’s the problem with the spring, sports fans. Take a look at last week’s ‘Upcoming Schedule,’ if you haven’t recycled that section already. On Thursday, there were two different baseball games and a softball matchup scheduled. The student body at the middle school was going to enjoy a great afternoon, watching both their softball and baseball teams compete. Across town, the high school baseball squad was going to kick off its annual wood bat tournament, beginning three days of fun in the sun.

One problem. No sun, and no fun. Instead, we got to spend three days wondering how we were going to fill up the front page. It’s no award-winner, but at least it’s full.

So forgive me if the next time there’s a drought, you don’t see me weeping and gnashing my teeth. Because the same way the rain helps farmers bring in their products, it stops me from bringing in mine.

‘ Speaking of rain, it looks like ‘Pacman’ Jones will be ‘making it rain’ at gentlemen’s clubs in Dallas, if he ever returns to pro football, that is.

I made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t mention Jones in this space again, but a recent conversation I caught on one of the Nashville sports talk stations made me curious.

The NFL ‘experts’ were discussing Jones, and his potential trade to the Dallas Cowboys. Their main topic was Jones’ suspension, and how quickly it would be lifted. Basically, what they were saying was ‘if the NFL would hurry up and reinstate this guy, we could get rid of him.’

I’d have to say I agree. Let’s get him legal, and ‘ finally, once and for all ‘ send him packing.

‘ Speaking of Joneses, looks like our beloved Chicago Cubs are having trouble keeping up with them.

As of this writing, the small bears from the Windy City had played a week, and had only won one game. They were in dead last in the NL Central heading into Saturday’s game, which comes just six days after two out of the three analysts on ESPN’s ‘Baseball Tonight’ picked them to represent the National League in this year’s World Series.

None of them had them winning, mind you, but at least they had them in it.

But the bad part of the opening week of the season is this: I haven’t been able to watch a single pitch on TV.

And even worse? I probably won’t get to watch them today, either. Because thanks to all this rain cascading on our town over the past week, I have to spend the afternoon riding the lawn mower.

See? There’s another reason to hate the rain.