Foster parenting has its rewards

May is National Foster Care Month. Next month spotlights the needs of children and youth in foster care and honors the compassionate people who make a real and lasting difference in their lives by recognizing the services they provide.

One of these compassionate people who will be recognized next month is local resident Debbie Burgess who has been a resource parent, formally known as a foster parent, for three years. After being encouraged by family and friends to check into becoming a parent, she did just that.

?I didn?t have any children of my own but I did watch my nieces and nephews,? Burgess. ?When they grew up, I missed them.?

Longing to once again hear the sound of children in the house is what brought her to the Department of Children?s Services (DCS). After talking it over with her husband, Terry, the couple decided to try. That was three years and six children ago.

?This is the most rewarding job I?ve ever had,? said Burgess. ?It is a big decision. You have to be prepared both mentally and physically. The children need consistency and structure. It is a big responsibility.?

Taking a child into any home is only the first step. Resource parents must also work closely with the DCS program, schools, counselors, doctors, biological parents and the children themselves in order to provide the kind of environment the children need.

?With everyone you have to work with, you have to be good at communication,? said Burgess. ?Most of the children want attention. They want you to listen. You have to stop what you are doing at that time and listen.?

That?s sound advice for people who want to become resource parents.

?Don?t have great expectations,? said Burgess. ?It takes time to work things out. We had one that sat in his room for three days. He would come out and eat but then go back in. When he got ready, he came out. Most of the time it is a matter of letting them come to you.?

Although some parents opt for adoption, letting go is part of the deal.

?I had a child for two years and cried all the way home when he had to go,? said Burgess. ?His dad did everything to get his son back. I was proud of his dad and I knew he would be taken care of at home. His father did his part and now I?ll do my part and let him go back home.?

Resource parents are encouraged to partner with not only DCS but the biological parents. This way, the support between the two continues long after DCS is out of the picture.

?That?s why we changed the name from foster parents to resource parents,? said resource parent recruiter Kelly Sullivan. ?Resource parents, like Debbie, know that the parents will still need support. Dad might need a baby-sitter and he?ll have someone to call. We have several resource parents who develop a relationship with the birth parents and continue to be a part of their lives.?

Resource parents of all kinds are always needed. Parents can choose to take different age groups, boys, girls, sibling groups and children of a specific race. In Tennessee during 2006 there were 9,487 children in foster care with the average length of stay being 27.7 months.

To become a resource parent people must take 30 hours of Parents As Tender Healers (PATH) training, once a week for ten weeks. They must also undergo a home-study evaluation. After passing that, all parents must undergo 15 hours of training annually.

For more information, contact DCS at 1-877-DCS-KIDS or the Upper Cumberland Regional office at 1-877-381-8360.