Annie?s Mailbox – Tell friend to halt intrusive behavior

Dear Annie: I am a seventh-grade boy, and I have a very big problem with another boy in my grade. “George” is extremely annoying. He pesters me all the time. He never lets me concentrate in class, he follows me everywhere, even into the bathroom, and constantly tells me about every single thing he has ever read on the Internet or in books, and everything he’s heard on TV or seen in a movie. He always wants to know my grades on tests. He gives me massages, on the shoulders, in the middle of class, which makes me very uncomfortable.

I would tell him just to leave me alone, but George is twice as big as I am, and I’m afraid he will hurt me. He is also constantly telling me that I am the best and coolest friend he has ever had, which adds to the moral issues involved in telling him to leave me alone.

Does he have some kind of psychological disorder that makes him unbearably attached to me? How can I make him stop? ? Really Annoyed and Frustrated

Dear Annoyed: George admires you and wants to be friends, but his behavior is intrusive and inappropriate. Explain nicely and casually that real friends give each other a little more space, and that you like talking to him, but he has to stop following you around so much, and no more massages, because they make you uncomfortable. If he becomes belligerent or won’t stop, you should tell the school counselor. But just because George is large doesn’t mean he’s going to hurt you. In fact, he could turn out to be a very loyal friend if you give him a chance.

Dear Annie: My wife passed away six weeks ago. She suffered from Alzheimer’s, and in the last five years, she recognized no one, including me, even though I was with her constantly. Everyone was a complete stranger. In her last two years, she reverted to her early childhood.

During this time, I developed a very cordial relationship with a widow whose husband passed away 11 years ago. She and her husband were friends of ours throughout our entire married lives.

How long is it necessary for us to remain at arm’s length before we can be seen by our families and friends in a closer “hands on” relationship? ? Wondering Widower

Dear Widower: There’s no time period that is proper to resume dating. Start whenever you are ready. If you think your families will have a hard time with it, you might want to introduce the relationship gradually. Try inviting your children out for dinner, and say you’ve also asked “Louise” to join you. We hope your children are accepting, but remember that you can’t live your life solely to please others.