With kids away, parents can play
While visiting a local restaurant over the weekend, I met a couple that was on their first visit to the restaurant with their three children. The children all looked under the age of 6 or 7.
The children seemed really excited which caught the attention of me and my husband. I guess they must have noticed my interest because the man said, ?They didn?t know we had one of these restaurants. We went to one while on vacation and they loved it. We thought it best to not let them know that we had one here. We don?t eat out much and we thought they would bug us every night about going. Today I bought a new truck, so I thought it was only fair.?
I laughed and told the man, ?All parents do that dad, but we never admit it in front of the children.?
I couldn?t help but wonder about things other parents do that they don?t tell their children, so I have decided to get the ball rolling by confessing a few things that I never confess to my children. I can only hope none of your good people let them have a copy.
I?m assuming all parents do these:
? The broken ice cream bars in the box taste the same as the unbroken ones. I hope I?m not the only parent who takes the broken one, without question. For some reason no one wants the broken one so I take it. I never tell that the broken one tastes just as good. Because when I take the broken one, they think mom is the greatest. Also, I always take the crumpled pieces of bread. I do this for the same reason. They have their lifetimes to think of me as mom. For right now, let them see me as the greatest mom ever.
? Although my kids aren?t old enough to see rated ?R? movies, my husband and I will go and see them when we get the chance. If we miss it at the movies, we rent it and watch it alone. I have one teen and one less than a year away from being a teen but they aren?t old enough for some movies. My husband and I, on the other hand, are well over 18 and can handle what any movie dishes out. We go but we don?t tell.
? We also go to really nice restaurants when we are alone. When it?s all four of us, we have to go somewhere everyone will eat. Needless to say, both my kids like different things. Because of this, picking one restaurant is hard to do. In the case of a nice restaurant, that?s impossible to do. So, we go when we can and we go alone. When we are with them, it?s the same old restaurant or two.
Listing these last two brings up an area of discontent between me and my husband. He thinks we should be straightforward with the kids and let them know everything that we do without them. According to him, they should be OK with it.
My stance: Not in this lifetime. I understand how he feels but they are still kids. I think children live in a world where they think we don?t have a life outside theirs. I can understand this because I felt the same way about my mom when I was young.
Because they are getting older, I have explained to them that we have family time and then we need grown-up time. However, I still don?t feel we should unload on them all the neat things we do without them. I tell them we need a break just to be ourselves and not parents.
I?m not quite sure what being ourselves is anymore. Quite honestly, I can?t remember what life was like before having children. I have one friend without kids and she tells me that it?s pretty good.
The biggest difference between her life and mine seems to be the difference in free time, late nights, early mornings, sleep, worry, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, wants, needs, injuries, doctor?s visits and trips to the emergency room.
Now that I?ve mentioned all that, I?m feeling a bit tired. I guess I can understand why some people decide to not have children.
Lisa Hobbs is a reporter for the Standard. She can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at citynews@southernstandard.com.