Robservations – The do’s and don’ts of tailgating
In case this is the only 16 inches of copy you notice in your paper each week, Court Square will be the scene of a preseason tailgate party and pep rally tonight, as we get ready for next week’s football season openers for Warren County Middle School, the WCHS freshmen and the Pioneer varsity.
It’s football time in Tennessee, as one broadcasting legend was fond of saying. So with that in mind ‘ and considering the fact that yours truly has participated in more than his fair share of tailgate events over the years, this week’s column is devoted to the do’s ‘ and don’ts ‘ of tailgating.
‘ DO: Wear your team’s colors. DON’T: Feel you can get in the football spirit by wearing another team’s colors, even if they play the same sport.
It’s a Pioneer football party, people. Not a Titan party, or a Vol party. Whether you’re there to recognize the middle-schoolers, high-schoolers, cheereleaders or even the marching band, red, white and blue are the order of the day.
If you’ve got some actual Pioneer gear, that’s a bonus. But if not, just try and match the color scheme. You want to look good for the photos which will inevitably wind up on the front page of Sunday’s ‘Style’ section, don’t you?
And as an added bonus, Pioneer gear will be available for purchase. So if you have the means, pick yourself up a new T-shirt or hat. If you have a little extra cash left over, pick up one for your favorite Friday sports columnist.
DO: Bring a football. DON’T: Throw it at anyone’s expensive car.
It’s not a tailgate party without a game of catch. So show off those receiving skills, or that rifle of an arm, with some friendly tosses in the parking lot.
But, as Dad used to say, ‘put some eyes on that thing.’ The last thing somebody’s mom wants is the point of a football slamming into her temple because you weren’t watching where you were throwing.
‘ DO: Cook up some good grub. DON’T: Offer any to anyone else.
According to the official rules for tonight’s tailgate party, there will be no sampling of food. To quote their directive, ‘Tailgate food may only be provided to the people participating in that specific tailgate crew. Food may not be provided to anyone who visits the tailgate from another tailgate or the general public.’
Rules are rules, I guess. But this one seems a little odd to me. Heck, if it wasn’t for Bob Lamb, Bud Morris and Tommy and Patti Clark back in my MTSU days, I probably would’ve starved to death on Saturday afternoons in the fall. But just for tonight, I guess we’ll all keep our groceries to ourselves.
‘ And finally, there is a bit of news to report that some of you fine readers out there may be interested to know. Your own friendly neighborhood sports editor has volunteered 30 minutes of his tailgating time tonight to serve as a human target in the dunking booth, which will be raising money for the Pioneer Youth Football league.
You heard me right. For a nominal fee, you can take a shot at sending me to the bottom of the tank. With that said, it’s time for a little trash talk.
Having watched people in this town throw baseballs and softballs for the past seven years, I expect to go home tonight BONE DRY. So, as our final tip:
DO: Bring money and try to dunk Rob. DON’T: Aim for his head.