Independence in young lady can be a good trait

Dear Annie: I am 26, slender, and I have been told I am attractive. I put myself through college, and I have a wonderful job that I love. My problem? I have never had a relationship that lasted more than eight months.

I am very independent, and I like it. The last man I dated told me I was too independent for my own good and that it would keep men at bay. Of course, I tried to shrug off his comment, but I can’t help thinking that maybe he’s right.

Whenever I tell people I am single, they look at me with those sympathetic eyes and say, “Oh,” and then they are even more surprised when I tell them I am not dating anyone. Obviously, they can’t figure out why I can’t find a partner.

I am happy with the person I am, but I am also lonely. Was that guy right? Am I too independent for my own good? — Happy but Lonely

Dear Happy: It depends on what he meant by “independent.” Are you giving men the impression that you don’t need them for anything? That you aren’t going to compromise any part of your life to accommodate a man? Did he feel unwanted, unnecessary and unappreciated?

Men, as well as women, like to believe someone needs them and cherishes having them around. If you are treating your boyfriends like accessories you can do without, that could explain the comment — and yes, it could be keeping men at bay.

Dear Annie: Is it me, or is anyone else tired of kids trying to sell candy outside of grocery stores? They make me feel guilty for saying “no.”

I don’t mind the Girl Scouts, of course, but almost every day, I see a kid outside the local supermarket selling the same candy that is inside the store, but at a tremendously inflated price. They never have an adult with them, and I never know where the money is going. Is there some kind of loitering law about this? — Feeling Guilty in Southern California

Dear Guilty: Most of these kids are trying to raise money for school programs, and they often need permission from the store to set up shop there. If you ask, they will tell you exactly what the candy is for. If you don’t want to make a donation, simply say, “Sorry,” as you continue walking.