Weird Tennessee: Manure happens, arm robbery, TSSAA math

At the Tennessee Walking Horse National Celebration in Shelbyville, a T-shirt was on sale proclaiming: “Manure happens.”

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In August, the Tennessee Secondary Schools Athletic Association declared the FIRST week of football games as week ZERO. That same week, ACT scores in Tennessee were reported lagging badly — in math.

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A man taking his driver’s test behind the wheel Sept. 13 crashed into the testing center in Murfreesboro. The examiner said the applicant hit the gas instead of the brake. The 25-year-old driver failed the test.

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After winds from Hurricane Katrina Aug. 30, an outdoor sign at the YMCA in Brentwood said: “Labor Day outdoor poo party.”

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The Associated Press reported in a story Nov. 10 that a fugitive captured in Knoxville had been imprisoned in Louisiana for arm robbery.

Our mistake. The story was soon corrected to armed robbery.

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A deer charged through a plate glass window at a bank in Paris Oct. 31 and trampled a few desks before being trapped in the branch president’s office.

It was suggested he was just looking for a few bucks.

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In April, Hawkins County authorities were waiting for two would-be burglars at a mobile home dealership. A cell phone in a suspect’s pocket had accidentally dialed 911 and police listened as they plotted the crime.

“Central dispatch heard everything they said,” detective Eve Jackson said.

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Anette Pharris of Nashville wanted her son to have a special party for his 16th birthday, so she hired a stripper. After the mother was indicted on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, she said no one had been harmed.

“We even had grandpa there,” she told The Tennessean newspaper last May.

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Kevin Hair told Cleveland police someone broke into his home in February and rearranged some furniture. The only things taken were a bottle of Jack Daniel’s whiskey and a cardboard likeness of President Bush.

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At a crafts fair in Nashville last May, a young boy wore this T-shirt: “For sale. Parents. Buy one. Get one free.”

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Katheryn Allen and Josh Mullins decided the day before their wedding to switch the site from the Henry County Courthouse to a Wal-Mart where several of their friends worked. The June 30 ceremony was held at the customer service department with the reception in the employee break room. Assistant store manager Joey Cooper gave the bride away, and most of the flowers were borrowed from the store.

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Not to be outdone, Gary Peavyhouse and Tonia Sweeney were married in February at a J.C. Penney store in Chattanooga. The ceremony was held in the young men’s department where they first met and where he had proposed. The reception was in the store’s conference room and break area.

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Tennessee tourism commissioner Susan Whitaker took a jab at Nevada in May when she said the Volunteer state had edged Nevada to become the 11th most visited state. “Viva Las Vegas, you lost,” she said.

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In Mount Carmel, law enforcement officers used blue lights and sirens to try to get a drunken driving suspect to pull over last March. Instead, authorities said Jeffery Lynn Drinnon kept driving until he spotted a fast food restaurant where he pulled into the drive-through lane in an apparent attempt to order breakfast. Officers surrounded his vehicle with guns drawn. He was taken into custody before he could place an order.

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Finally, there was an unusual case of mistaken identity in early December in Memphis.

Police said Jessica Sandy Booth thought a block of white cheese she spotted at a residence was cocaine.

Officers said she decided to hire someone to break into the home, take the drugs and kill four men there.

The hit man turned out to be an undercover police officer.

She was charged with attempted murder and soliciting murder.