The Scoop: Other candidates will be terminated
The California governor’s race got a little more muscle Wednesday night when Arnold Schwarzenneger announced he is an official candidate.
So let the puns begin. Arnold is out to “Terminate” the competition. This isn’t just a governor recall, it’s a “Total Recall.” All the other candidates better look out because Arnold is a real “Predator.”
The announcement came in true Hollywood fashion with Schwarzenneger declaring his candidacy on Jay Leno’s “Tonight” show. Considering his status as a household name, I’m making this not-so-bold prediction – Schwarzenneger will be California’s next governor.
I say this even though there are other “quality” candidates such as Gary Coleman, best known for his role on “Diff’rent Strokes” and for his famous line, “What you talkin’ about Willis?” There’s also Larry Flynt, publisher of the not-so-tasteful adult magazine Hustler. What I don’t understand is why Flynt would tarnish his reputation by running for California governor.
What I’m anxious to see is how Arnold uses his on-screen persona as a rugged, impossible-to-kill action hero to his advantage in the race for governor. We saw just a taste of that on Leno’s show Wednesday when Arnold was trashing current California Gov. Gray Davis. Arnold told us it was time for Davis to go, then delivered one of his trademark lines, “Hasta la vista, baby!”
Considering Arnold’s movie career – which began in 1970 with “Hercules in New York” and includes close to 30 films – his roles have certainly shaped public perception of his personality. Here’s a glimpse of how Arnold’s movies could impact his political campaign:
• Movie: “Junior” 1994 – Who can forget this film where Arnold plays the world’s first pregnant man. If that’s not enough, Danny DeVito is his OB-GYN.
Its impact – The signature line comes when Arnold, filled with estrogen and displaying traditional female behavior, proclaims “My body, my choice.” My guess is Arnold, the Republican, won’t hold true to those pro-choice words, or he’ll try to sidestep the abortion issue completely.
• Movie: “Total Recall” 1990 – Arnold is a construction worker in the year 2084 who is haunted by dreams of a vacation on Mars and also haunted by a back-stabbing wife played by Sharon Stone. He takes care of his wife by blowing her head off and then saying, “Consider this a divorce.”
Its impact – This won’t be a hit with the people who work hard to control the very real-life problem that is domestic violence. Arnold needs to understand violence isn’t the solution to all his problems. He definitely needs anger management counseling.
• Movie: “Commando” 1985 – Arnold is living a blissful life in the woods with his daughter when she is kidnapped. That, of course, means Arnold must save her and kill many people along the way. And, in true Arnold fashion, this means delivering one-liners too.
The most memorable of these lines is when he has arch enemy, Sully, hanging upside down over a cliff. “Sully, remember when I said I would kill you last?” says Arnold. “Yeah man, you said that,” replies Sully. To that Arnold says “I lied” and drops Sully to his death.
Its impact – There shouldn’t be much impact here. Politicians and lies go hand in hand. What Arnold does need to work on is his delivery. He needs a catch phrase to go along with it like, “Read my lips, I lied.”
• Movie: “Jingle All the Way” 1996 – Arnold is forced to try to find the holiday gift of the season, Turbo Man, for his son on Christmas Eve. Along the way, he gets in a fight with a mall Santa.
Its impact – Arnold can only hope folks will forget this scene. No one likes a bully – especially one who picks on Santa Claus.
(James Clark is editor of the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or at [email protected].)