Taking a Stand: Positive thinking has its advantages
Enough with the negative waves, man. You’re bringing me down.
I’ve always considered myself a positive person, a optimist if you will. I consider the glass half full, not half empty as a pessimist might. I can be just as content on a rainy day as on a cloudless, breezy spring afternoon. I’d have to say I’m a genuinely happy person who rarely lets stress get to me.
I’ve never figured out why some folks let the bad side of life get them down, all the time walking around all droopy like they’ve lost their last friend and their dog died. I think some people just aren’t happy unless they’re depressed. Well, that’s not for me. I say, don’t worry, be happy because worrying never fixed anything.
Given the fact I’m such a smiling fool, it’s hard to figure why I’m such a downer when it comes to being a parent. It’s like I’m a different person, turning from sunshine to a cloudy day.
It seems like most of the words that come out of my mouth when I’m talking to my 4-year-old include things like “stop that” or “you can’t” or “get your finger out of there, you’re going to make your nose bleed.”
To him I must be the evil grinch who prevents him from having fun. He must believe I’m the least fun-loving person in the world, always in the way of his enjoyment of life. I’m like the Gestapo, always waiting around for him to do something he’s not supposed to, seemingly with eyes in the back of my head.
It’s easy at this point to see why I thought my parents were a bunch of fuddy-duddies, not allowing me to do some of the things I wanted to. I always wondered if they got a thrill out of policing my actions when I was a kid, throwing their authority around.
Although, as a side note, I have figured out one of the top secret things parents know, that is, it doesn’t hurt me more than it does him cause I’m doing the whipping and he’s during the receiving. I knew that was a crock when my parents told me that as a child.
I’d say Jack thinks I’m from Squaresville, given my constant disciplining of his actions, even though I am, in real life, a good, fun-loving guy. However, I guess it goes back to the old adage that children don’t need a parent to be their friend, they need them to be their parent. The difference between the two is that friends rarely say “no.”
While “no” is obviously a negative word, it is also a constructive word which can be used for guidance. I fully believe some of the problem children and adults who have grown up to be losers could have benefited from the word “no” when they were younger. However, instead of having a firm hand guiding them, they either had a deadbeat who didn’t care enough to provide any guidance or they had a parent who tried to be their friend rather than their parent.
Without the magical word “no,” Jack would be living on a constant diet of chocolate and Sundrop, staying up until 4 a.m. playing video games and digging in his nose like a professional nose miner. Sure, it sounds like how I existed all through college, but hey, it’s no way for a child to come up.
Perhaps I’ll be able to come up with a more positive attitude as Jack grows older and maybe not be such a downer all the time. Nah. Kids are insane, you either tell them they can’t or they’ll do it and end up with a broken arm. Being a kid, I believe, is kind of like being an adult who is constantly drunk. Sure, they may think they’re walking a straight line, but in reality they’re walking on their knees and still stumbling. My advise to parents – just say no.
(Duane Sherrill is crime and court reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)