Down in the Pits: Life gets rough for Gordon
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Nobody knows for sure what went wrong with this relationship. But we’re going to have a field-day speculation on this one. They are considered celebrities in all circles. They’ve appeared on TV shows, attended charity balls, made TV commercials together and are just generally very photogenic. He goes out and wins races and championships and she’s always there to smile and congratulate him in victory circle. Now both have asked the media to grant them their privacy during this time.
Yeah, lots of luck.
Divorces tend to bring out the worst in people. We’ll all want to be around when the dirty laundry is made public. There will be vicious gossip spread and all kinds of wild rumors. I can hardly wait.
Brooke doesn’t want much: Just the house in Highland Beach, Fla. It’s just a modest little dwelling of 23,096 square feet on the Atlantic Ocean. Of course they have another little dwelling on Palm Beach.
She also wants the Porsche and the Mercedes. Oh yes, and one of the airplanes. Oh and by the way, she’d also like him to pay for all of the maintenance people that they employ as well as the maids and the housekeepers as well as their chef while she’s going through these terrible times. And by the way, Jeff, you need to throw in a little alimony, too, just to make life bearable.
Before it’s over she’ll think of something else that she really needs like half of his Winston Cup Championship trophies and at least some interest in all of his enterprises.
Jeff’s only comments have been that he is focusing 100 percent of his attention on his race team. It sounds like he might ought to have focused a little bit more of it on Brooke. It may have been a lot more profitable.
After I heard the bad news, I immediately left for Florida to see if I couldn’t get a house on the beach. I found that she was only asking $10 or so million for it, but when she inquired if I was a Jeff Gordon fan, I denied it. She immediately dropped the price down to $9 million.
Jeff says that his personal problems have not affected his team. It must be noted that by Gordon’s standards he’s having a lousy season. He has yet to finish in the top five in the last 14 races and last Sunday in Bristol he finished a sad 31st after managing to wreck while running by himself at the front of the pack.
I’m sure that Brooke viewed this performance with mixed emotions. You know, like first place pays a lot more than 31st place, and since she wants one-half of it, that’s money out of her pocket, too. But then again, she wasn’t there to give him that big hug and send off before the race.
Jeff needs to look at the bright side of this. Brooke is getting a little old for him. After all she’s 32 and he’s only 30, and she is getting a little long in the tooth for a famous racecar driver such as himself.
Also some good news for Jeff is that Hooters is now coming back into Nascar racing as a sponsor, so a replacement shouldn’t be too hard to find. And he’ll be able to hang out with his buddies while living in a little apartment in Charlotte while she has to ramble around in that big ol’ house on the ocean.
If when he thinks about that and it sounds depressing, all he has to do is look at the way his season is going. If that doesn’t improve pretty soon, they’re going to have to put a suicide watch on ol’ Jeff.