Taking A Stand: Manners needed in restaurants
It seems like some people skipped the manners class when it comes to restaurant behavior as some dining experiences are akin to gnawing on a bison leg around the campfire with a bunch of cavemen.
Now let me note I’m not exactly perfect when it comes to public dining. I’m not one of those people who sip from my cup with my pinkie raised nor do I know, or care, which fork is for the salad and which is for the main course. I don’t “dress up” for dinner and I rarely use a napkin when there’s a perfectly good sleeve nearby. However, by the same token, I generally try to avoid conduct which will take away from the dining enjoyment of my fellow diners.
One thing which makes my skin crawl at restaurants are those who feel the need to clean out their sinuses at the table. There seems to always be some guy blowing his nose at the table, like there’s no one else around. Some folks figure as long as they cover their face with a napkin, they can do anything they please no matter how loud or gross it is.
Hey, some folks may have been raised in a barn but I was always taught to excuse myself and go to the restroom before doing something disgusting like that in the presence of people eating. I guess walking a few feet to the bathroom is just too big a task for some people.
Then there’s the foolishness of the smoking section. It’s always amazed me how some restaurants cling to the idea of providing an area for smokers like there’s some magical shield which keeps the smoke from blowing into the non-smoking section. The whole idea of having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a public pool because no matter what, the whole area will be affected. On some nights going into a restaurant is like running into a burning house to rescue a puppy as I come out with a mild case of smoke-inhalation.
Folks, this is a restaurant, not a smoking club. Eat your meal and then go outside and smoke. If you can’t wait to choke down your steak before you light up, then perhaps you should try the patch.
Then we have problems associated with buffet dining. The whole idea of a buffet is to get your food quick and conveniently. However, some folks turn the whole buffet line into a series of life-altering choices as they mull over what to get like a contestant on “The Price is Right” trying to guess the price of a grandfather clock so they can get up on stage and meet Bob. Pick something already.
I’ve seen folks at the Chinese buffet pick up one piece of chicken at a time, slowly laying it on their plate with the painstaking care of a five-star chef preparing a gourmet masterpiece. They fish through the offering like there’s a prize in the buffet, trying to find that one piece of winning chicken. Meanwhile, folks like me are standing there, about to drop from hunger, waiting for the slowpokes so we can slop the food on our plate and carry it back to the cave.
“Hey lady, it’s all the same,” I want to yell. “Dip the spoon in there and pile it on and move your buffet-eating rear out of my way.”
If it weren’t for my addiction to eating out, I’d just stay home and eat seeing there I can belch at my leisure, use which ever fork I prefer without shame, and even dine in my underwear if I feel like it.
(Duane Sherrill is a reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)