Taking A Stand: It’s finally time for the holidays
Thank goodness. It’s finally reached the Christmas season, so those Christmas displays which have been out since August no longer look so tacky.
It seems stores start marketing Christmas earlier and earlier every year. It’s getting to the point where it’s almost embarrassing. Perhaps they should just leave the displays up all year round, save them the effort for taking them down just for the Fourth of July weekend.
Myself, I like my holidays one at a time. I say we get through Halloween and Thanksgiving before folks start hawking those creepy dancing Santas. It’ll get to the point pretty soon where we’ll be rolling Christmas trees on Halloween if they keep moving the season up.
With this in mind, and seeing I recently saw the movie “Cat in the Hat” and I’m kind of stuck in the Dr. Seuss mode, I think I’ll describe my point in a semi-humorous poem that may also rhyme once in a while. I call it “The 12 Months of Christmas.”
‘Twas the month before Christmas and all through the store, holiday sales were flourishing since they had begun three months before;
The Santas were dancing and lights were blinking, but it was only June, what on Earth could they be thinking;
So I called the manager, he was dressed like a Santa’s Elf, I asked him, “What’s up with the mistletoe and Christmas trees on the shelf?”
“It’s still summer outside, it was over 90 today, now you’re trying to sell me a miniature Santa and sleigh?”
“Why not wait for the winter and Jack Frost to show, before you start selling chasing lights and that messy fake snow?”
He looked at me and chuckled and said with a grin, “This is big business hayseed, where have you been?”
“Why wait for Thanksgiving or for the weather to turn cold, no time like August for Christmas Santas to be sold;”
“Forget about Halloween, Thanksgiving and stuff, the spooks are not spooky and the turkey’s too tough;”
“There’s no profit in Batman costumes and little boys who dress as Casper the ghost, it’s the Christmas decorations and presents that earn us the most;”
“Why wait for the gobble-gobble of turkeys and pilgrims in a hat, the potatoes are usually clumpy and turkey makes you fat;”
“We can sell bright wrapping paper, lawn reindeer and holly, perhaps even a couple of Christmas elves and some dancing Santas who are jolly;”
“Who cares if it’s hot outside and everyone’s in shorts, we’ll keep pushing the fruit cake and eggnog by the quarts;”
“No time for swimming, no time for summer fun, we’ll just skip fall completely, attention shoppers, there’s a blue light sale on isle one;”
“Just keep pushing Christmas and eventually they’ll buy, maybe next year, if it’s good, we’ll start Christmas in July;”
All I could do is walk away and think to myself, that manager sure looked like a sissy dressed as an elf;
Just let him sell his Christmas stuff and dress up like a fool, ain’t no Christmas shopping for me until it’s too cold for the pool;
I’m not the Grinch that stole Christmas, I love Christmas Day, I just don’t like hearing Silver Bells when it’s just early May;
Sure, when Christmas day comes I’ll carol and sing, and get ready for the holiday sales to begin again in the spring.
(Duane Sherrill is a reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)