The Scoop: This ticket brought to you by Wal-Mart
Times are tough. The economy looks like it’s been through a 10-round heavyweight fight. And consumers are clinging to their money like a child clutching an after-dinner popsicle.
In the newspaper industry, things are no different. We’re feeling the economic pinch just like the rest of the country.
That’s why I’ve decided to explore the world of corporate sponsorship. For as little as $25 a week, you could have naming rights to this column. I figure if the Tennessee Titans could milk $2 million a year, for three years, from some company named Adelphia, then $25 for this column is a bargain.
It could soon be called The Scoop brought to you by World Book Encyclopedia. I’d say that would be the most fitting sponsor because people are always telling me how this column is a wealth of information. At least that’s my version of what people are telling me.
Since we’re conveniently on the topic of corporate sponsorship, how about this one: Warren County government is seeking sponsors to advertise on the back of sheriff’s department patrol cars. For a mere $5,000 contribution (and I’m not making this up), your company can advertise on the trunk.
If the county can actually convince local companies to do this, I say more power to County Executive Kenneth Rogers for dreaming up the idea. In this day when tax dollars are guarded like a sacred burial ground, almost anything that can save money is worth exploring.
That said, I’m still going to make fun of the idea because it’s just oh so easy.
The obvious question is why just stop at the patrol car trunk? If the county can get $5,000 for the trunk, and a patrol car costs approximately $20,000, I say decorate that sucker like Jeff Gordon’s No. 24 Chevrolet. If NASCAR can cover every square inch of its cars with advertising, than so can the Warren County Sheriff’s Department.
And we all know how NASCAR driver’s talk as soon as a microphone is stuck in their face. “The DuPont Chevrolet with Goodyear tires really handled great out there, and it’s all because I drink Pepsi.” How’s that’s for a Jeff Gordon impression?
With a little practice, and a few more sponsors, Warren County deputies could sing a similar song.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be held against you in court. You have the right to shop at Sears where you’ll find a great selection of Craftsman tools ?”
And let’s not forget there’s still naming rights for the county courthouse. The McDonald’s Courthouse on Warren County Square has a distinct ring, if you ask me. For the right price, I say put the golden arches on the courthouse roof and turn our judges into pitchmen.
Judge: “You’re pleading guilty to burglary?”
Defendant: “Yes your honor.”
Judge: “That’s three years of supervised probation and 20 days in jail. And when you get out, don’t forget you can buy two Big Macs for $2.22 at McDonald’s.”
To interrupt all this fun with a little practicality, I can’t help but wonder if all this sponsorship might not bend the rules of justice just a tad. If I pledge $5,000 to advertise my business on the back of a sheriff’s department cruiser, the deputy driving that car better not give me a ticket if my check is ever expected to arrive in the mail.
By the same token, I’m sure if anyone paid me $25 a week to sponsor this column, I’m confident they would occasionally suggest stances I should take. If I took a different stance, it would be safe to say the checks would stop coming.
Corporate sponsorship may help ease the tax burden, but it does come at a price. When you stick out your hand for sponsors, you’re also sticking out your neck.
(James Clark is editor of the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)