Robservations: Dome would keep fans hot and happy
No, I never danced on stage with Bono. But I once ate lunch at Toot’s with “Dirty” Dutch Mantel and Kane, and just the other night I got to “sell” a standing wrist-lock performed by “Duke the Dumpster” Droese.
So yes, your friendly neighborhood sports editor has had his share of brushes with celebrity.
At any rate, I’ll stop bragging now and hit you with this week’s dose of Random Robservations.
And while I’m forever grateful for the opportunity, the trip and (thanks to a certain anonymous WCHS alum) the tires, I did come away with one prevailing thought: Every NFL football team needs a dome.
We watched every minute of Sunday’s game with the Texans ? which, upon retrospect, was kind of like watching a fistfight between two men with no arms. And by the end of the game, the chill was so deep in these 33-year-old bones, I thought it’d never go away.
And as a result, the head cold which had been germinating prior to the game reached such overwhelming proportions, I’ve regrettably, but undoubtedly, spread it through several basketball gyms and wrestling matches this week. Sorry about the sniffles, sports fans. Have a tissue on me.
And if you think a roof doesn’t make any difference, consider this: Heading into this weekend, only two NFL teams had already clinched their divisions ? Indianapolis, which plays in a domed arena, and Seattle, which has a roof covering 72 percent of its stadium.
A-ha! Warm fans are happy fans, which equal cheering fans, which equals a winning team!
? I don’t want tickets for a boat ride with the Minnesota Vikings.
? I don’t want a gift certificate to the Tennessee Vols’ fan store.
? I don’t want Memphis Grizzlies box seats. They play basketball in something called the National Basketball Association, in case you didn’t know.
? I have no use for any more golf trinkets. I’m not a good player, I’ll never be a good player. Any club cleaning tools, or stroke counters, or little things to clip onto my bag just make me a hacker with a lot of junk to carry around the course.
? I don’t want any more toys to display around my desk. Have you ever seen the friendly neighborhood sports desk? It’s a war zone. If you ever come in looking for something that was used a few weeks ago, I have to call in Indiana Jones to excavate through the piles of scoresheets and deer photos to try and find it. Any more figurines or picture frames on this piece of furniture, and I’ll have to buy a new desk just to have somewhere to sit.
? And lastly, I absolutely, positively, don’t want or need any running shoes, or track shorts, or other fitness gear. I’m as fit as I get, which ain’t all that fit. (Free poetry? You bet!)
I know what you’re thinking? “Hey, Rob! You just slammed my gift idea! Now what do I give you?”
No problem. Cash is the gift that keeps on giving, all year long.