Money can buy happiness, but not love

By James Clark

I’ve long operated under the assumption that money can buy happiness. Now at long last I finally have a study to prove it.

Researchers from Pennsylvania State and Harvard University have determined once and for all (drum roll please) that richer people are happier than poorer people. So the next time someone tells you “Money can’t buy happiness,” you tell them “Oh yes it can – and there’s research to prove it.”

The survey did, however, make a distinction between happiness and love. And researchers have concluded money can’t buy love (although it’s my contention love just has a higher pricetag).

Men apparently try to buy love more than women, as it was revealed men spend twice as much as women on meals, flowers, gifts, etc., during the first 12 months of dating. And women spend twice as much time complaining (OK, I’ll admit “time complaining” wasn’t part of the study, but I just couldn’t resist tossing that jab in there).

On a side note, I’ve long argued that people who read Business Pulse are happier than people who don’t read this column, but that’s a topic for another day.

One thing that has always given me enjoyment is reporting on the misery of our dumb criminals so here is installment No. 97. This week the honor goes to accused burglar Scott Best, 34.

Earlier this summer, Best was apprehended in Cornwall, Ontario for stealing items from an upscale home. He was caught (score 1 point for the good guys) and hauled off to jail.

It was from the jailhouse that Best figured it was probably a wise idea to call his lawyer, Donald Johnson. He was completely unaware the upscale home he was accused of burglarizing was in fact the home of his lawyer. This is just a guess, but Best would probably get a better defense by retaining the services of another attorney.

And in a trend that’s becoming downright scary, more and more parents are being charged with pushing their children out of the car and abandoning them on busy roads as a means of punishment.

Would all the child psychologists who have preached “timeout” is a better way to punish kids than spanking them please tell these parents that abandoning kids on the highway is not appropriate punishment.

That latest incident, which gained significant media attention, occurred in Zephyrhills, Fla., when Lori Heine, 46, shoved her 7-year-old son out of the car. It’s a serious offense and one I probably shouldn’t make fun of, but I couldn’t help but laugh at the cause of the argument. The son had wanted a cheeseburger happy meal from McDonald’s and the argument escalated because the mother had already purchased a McNugget happy meal.