Insensitive daughter causing mother?s pain

Dear Annie: I have two daughters who are middle-aged. One is confined to a wheelchair, and the other is a career woman and mother with a busy, crazy life. “Edie” barely has time for her sister or me, and devotes herself to the latest “love of her life.” Her children get little quality attention, and the oldest is all but ignored.

Edie’s two-minute visits leave us depressed and feeling that we’re not worth her time. I’m tempted to tell her not to bother, but my heart is so sad from her indifference that I’m not sure what route to take. Any ideas on how to wake her up? — Sad Mother in Massachusetts

Dear Sad: You cannot force Edie to be a better person or a more attentive daughter. Don’t sit around waiting for her to show up. Find things that keep you busy and entertained so Edie’s visits will carry less weight. That way, you will enjoy the two minutes she spends with you and won’t mind so much when she leaves. Meanwhile, do her children have a father? It sounds like he ought to become more involved in their lives.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.